The present time.  Jersey City International Productions known for their beyond sleaze productions.  Run by the infamous Belsky Brothers who enjoy watching interns starve to death and never met an actor that they had to pay and feed crews from the finest dumpsters in town.  We are introduced to the company by excerpts from their miniscule budget films all directed by Eli Alwright a graduate of the NYU Film school.  The moment in time is precious for Eli – the Belsky Brothers have promised him a raise after years of toil.  Eli intends to break through the barrier to Hollywood with “The Greenies” a science fiction film.  As he wraps for the day he his interrupted by a strange looking creep, Roger, who secretly wrote all of Roger’s scripts $50.00 apiece. 

Roger snarls him, “Get out of here loser.  I write my own films now.  ‘The Greenies’ is my ticket to fame and fortune.  Science Fiction.  Not ghoul-gore crap!”

Joel has a new script about Rebels and Yankees from the Civil War who are cursed to spend eternity as ghouls for eating the dead on the battlefield.  Eli, not interested, has him ejected from the lot and returns to his miniscule office where NADINE an attractive ingénue is waiting for him.  Sure that he can sleep with her, he tells her that she has a part in his next movie neglecting to mention the fact that there is no pay.  On the other hand she can’t scream, act, and has a terrible Brooklyn accent.

We then meet the Belsky Brothers who bemoan the old days when intern used to sell themselves just to work for them.  “Remember the kid that used to give blow jobs on that Path train just to get out here.  I wish there were more of them.”

“That was my daughter!” says Tom Belsky proudly.

They watch the rushes of The Greenie and they freak out. Roger is told “It’s absolute, artistic crap.  Raise!  You’re out of here!  We can get fourteen film school dropouts  just like you and we don’t have to pay them a nickel!”  

"Then I’ll go someplace else to make the greatest ghoul movie ever.  Civil War Ghouls."

“Civil War Ghouls?  Yanks and Rebs? Abraham Lincoln?  Gore, sex, and full frontal nudity?”

Eli nods.  Tom Belsky replies, “If you can pull that off you’ll get your raise and a two hundred and fifty dollar bonus. We’ll forget about the Greenies!”

Tom tracks Joel down to the tomb he lives and offers him twenty five dollars for the Civil War script.   Joel’s attitude has changed.  He has acquired a William Morris agent, a dead one, from the Tomb next door.   Joel wants everything and he gets it when the Belsky Brothers intercede.  They’re going to make the film their most expensive production to date and actually shoot on location.

“But you can’t shoot on the real location,” gasps Joel.  “The real ghouls are there.”

 An advance man finds nothing sinister about Kaplan’s Swamp but he’s is in the wrong place.   When he’s redirected by the Sheriff, the Ghouls slaughter him.  They have a Pulled Pork and Barbecue Sauce Business and are aiming for a National Championship.  They are running out of tourists when cast and crew arrive at Kaplan’s. 

After a series of horrifying scenes, the picture is finished on time and on budget but only the two leading actors emerge from the swamp alive.  The last roll of film in the camera remains to tell the fate of the rest.   The Ghouls are never seen in the swamp again.  They kind of liked making movies.



Starving child

The Belsky Brothers like to watch Interns starve to death.

The Cafeteria at Jersey City Productions.

Blue and Grey Sauce.  Don't ask what's in it.

The Films a hit!